There are all of those cliches about women turning into their mothers as they get married and have children. So many women avoid that event like the plague. Not me. I am absolutely my mother in SO many ways, and I could not be happier about it.
Don’t get me wrong. My wonderful mother and I have gone through all of the normal phases of a mother / daughter relationship, but now we are here. Best friends. I cannot pass a day without speaking to her. I call her when life is good and when it is bad. I call (often) for recipes and suggestions on how to deal with the kids and ideas for hard to clean stains. I call her for everything, almost.
My mother has been in attendance for the birth of each of my four children. She has stayed to help clean and cook and bathe and rock cyring newborns so that I could shower or sleep. She has seen me through a divorce and a new marriage. She has been by my side, no matter how far away I lived, with every good decision and every bad one that I have made. More than a rock, she has been shelter and pillow and antiseptic when I need it. She has pushed, even shoved, when I needed it. Simply, she is MOM.
The birth of my fourth child brought more than the typical newborn challenges. Aside from already having three children, two of which were toddlers, I had to take a crash course in dealing with a special needs newborn. We were incredibly lucky, in that her birth defect was common and treatable, but it is still devestating for a parent to learn that their child will not be “normal”. I had been born with the same birth defect. My mother had been through it all. And she was there to guide, push, and help my family through it, too.
I had the resources of the world, in the internet, at my fingertips, but it was Mom who I turned to when I needed help. It was she who told me how to bathe a baby in casts. It was she who told me how to tape the top of the cast so that it wouldn’t chafe my newborn’s delicate skin. It was she who told me what to look for in case something went wrong. And it was she who cried with me when I was so completely overwhelmed. It was MY MOM who held it together for a frazzled, exhausted and frightened daughter.
These days, as I take a look at my day to day, I realize that I am the rock in my home. I am the one who calms, the one who plans, the one who has the answers. I do not do everything exactly like my mother, but it is her example that is before me when I kiss a hurt child, or when I talk about the budget with my husband and when I sit and help my son with his homework. It is Mom that I think of when I am planning healthy meals and activities for children. It is the image of her keeping a clean house that I have in my mind when mine seems too overwhelming.
I have always valued her. In more ways than she could know. We have had our differences, but my adimiration for the composed, strong, caring, honest woman that she is has never wavered. In the last few years, I have learned so much from her, and I continue to learn.. and to become more and more like her.
Boy, do I love you, Mom!
